Life Lately

Life has been extremely hectic lately.  In order to provide a comprehensive synthesis of what I've been up to, I am going to divide this post into four different sections, each one occupying a majority of my brain this past month.  (Wow, I've been writing way too much for school. I mean, who says 'comprehensive synthesis'?!)

International Baccalaureate Program (IB)

My Extended Essay

I am currently working toward my IB diploma.  If you don't know what that is, it's basically AP classes but with international standards and many other assessments outside of the tests in May that decide whether or not the student will receive a diploma for their time and energy.  Last year, I took my tests in math and french, this year I have tests in english, philosophy, history, and biology plus my extended essay, Theory of Knowledge (ToK) paper, and various other internal/external assessments.  These tasks have been weighing heavily in my mind for the last month.

Spread over a year, this to-do list would not be so bad, unfortunately my school did everything in the month of February.  I am currently in the home stretch, with only my Philosophy IA and the actual tests ahead of me.  However, I am incredibly burnt out from the last month.  Last month, I wrote my EE while finishing up my Works in Translation paper and my ToK essay.  This equals producing about 30 pages of written work on top of my normal classwork.  Yeah, it felt like hell.  The strangest part was that there was no way to escape this stress.  Everyone I talk to on a normal basis was dealing with the same deadlines so our conversations were also centered on the amount of work we had to do.  This has actually hurt my friendships because I don't want to think about my work with my friends but I'm forced to.

Now the most stressful thought is the tests in May.  I am literally terrified.  I have no idea how I'm going to remember all of the dates in history, all of the tragic plots for english, and all the philosophers for philosophy.  I get overwhelmed just thinking about it and the consist review and cramming that will be crammed into the next two months.  I'm fairly confident that I will earn enough points to merit a diploma come July, but the effort and stress in between now and the tests has me running for the hills. I don't think preparation is my thing, it's a put-up or shut-up mind in here.

Computer Upgrade

I recently received a MacBook Pro from my parents as an early graduation present and I'm thrilled.  I absolutely love it and it is pulling all my hipster qualities up to the surface of my personality.  Literally all I want to do is sit on my nice quilted blanket, in front of a window, and scroll through tumblr.   I've actually noticed an influx in smoothie-drinking, beanie-wearing, classics-reading and netflix-watching in the week I've had it!  Also, since my mac has become a part of my life, I have done absolutely no homework.  This has become my new normal:

Joking aside, I really do love my new computer.  My last computer was bought in 2009 and for the last couple months it has been crashing almost daily.  I would joke that my computer decided when it was time for me to go to bed because it would unfailingly crash if kept working past midnight.  Compared to that, this MacBook is heavenly.  I think the most amazing part is the quality of the image.  Maybe it's because I've been making more of an effort to wear my glasses, but every image looks 10x better on this computer.  While I feel a bit lost due to the changes between a PC and a Mac, so far I'm glad I've made the switch.

Compulsive Summer Disorder

Oh Michigan, take me back

Recently, it has been 60 degrees and storming here in California and while I'm happy for this weather due to the recent drought in CA, I'm craving summertime. Perhaps I'm simply searching for a fantasy away from all my stress but all I want to do is sit on the beach.  I'm craving the warmth, sunlight, and adventures that come with summer.  I have decided to call this problem Compulsive Summer Disorder or CSD.  It is actually becoming a problem as I will literally stop what I'm doing to fantasize about summer activities.  I have attempted to quell this craving by swimming at my local gym and blasting the heater but I think my CSD will remain a constant problem for the next few months.

College

Last, but not least, I have accepted my offer of acceptance to the University of Michigan.  I realized that, regardless of the decisions I have yet to receive, I would choose U of M.  When I visited the campus, I fell in love.  I felt that I would be presented with many challenges but also that I would be able to have a great college experience at U of M.  Plus, it's GORGEOUS!!!!!  I'm still blown away that I managed to get into such an amazing school and I cannot wait to pursue higher education there. However, that is all six months away.  All I have to do now is wait for further information about housing and orientation.  Unfortunately my patience is thin and I've started a large obsession with everything college related.  I've begun to spend hours and hours on youtube watching dorm room tours, Q&A videos, and the Michigan Transportation Musical on repeat.  I need to stop before I become too crazy to hide it.  Hey, at least I can now wear my Michigan sweatpants with pride!

So that's what I've been up to lately.  It's been rough but also extremely rewarding.  I'm proud of what I've accomplished as of today but looking ahead there is still a mess of papers for me to dig my way through.  For now, however, I'm going to go curl up with a big cup of tea and The Grapes of Wrath.

My First Road Trip!

This past weekend, I went on my first road trip sans parents.  My friend Emily and I headed down to the Bay Area to see Panic! at the Disco play in Oakland.  We decided to get a head start, hitting the road about 8 am and arriving in Berkeley around 1:30.  After a little food and shopping, we decided to visit the botanical gardens at UC Berkeley.

Then, we continued to head up the mountain and got completely lost in the search for steam trains in Tilden Park.  We eventually arrived at the closed building but we were rewarded with an amazing view of the Bay Area. It was absolutely spectacular.  We could see everything from downtown Berkeley to the Golden Gate Bridge. 

Once the sun set, we headed over to Oakland for the concert.  The Fox Theater was packed.  Panic! at the Disco definitely pulled out all the stops.  Brendon Urie's high notes were amazing and the atmosphere was just fantastic.  I absolutely love seeing a band perform.  Unlike listening to a CD or watching a movie, at a concert or show, you are sharing an experience with the artist rather than just enjoying what they made.  When Panic! played 'I Write Sins Not Tragedies', the joy on the band's face as we sang louder than them was fantastic.  Brendon actually stopped singing and just listened to us.  It was so wonderful to see us, the viewer, make the band as happy as they make us.  

I am incredibly happy that I was able to take this trip.  It was really exciting to be both without my parents and outside of my normal environment.  This was my first trip entirely independent and without much of a plan.  The fact that it went so well makes me more confident about the rest of the new experiences coming up this year.  Also, I'm already planning to go back in late July to see the Neighborhood! 

Lola

My friend Brian got a bunny named Lola.  I love her, even though she pooped on me!

'Growth' // The Creative Collective

Melyssa from the Nectar Collective has started The Creative Collective. She brainstormed 23 creative activities for bloggers to participate in throughout the year of 2014.  I'm really excited to participate in this collective and actually made my collage almost a week early because I was so eager to start!  The first prompt, for January 15th, is to create a collage of materials in your home which embodies the word you want to focus on in 2014.

For 2014, I have decided upon the word 'growth'.  This word will remind me to grow with change and work on my intellectual growth.  With my freshman year in college fall 2014, change is going to happen and I want to be okay with that.  I think the word growth will remind me that with every change comes an opportunity to better myself too.  Another aspect of growth is intellectual growth.  It takes a lot of effort to sit down and read nonfiction instead of just going to sleep or turning on the computer.  However, I feel more accomplished by finishing a book than a TV series. I hope the word growth will help me remember to further my education outside of school.

My collage is made entirely of college pamphlets.  I have been sent at least a pamphlet a day for the past year and a half which has added up to a large pile of paper.  For some reason I have kept all of these letters but there are no magazines my house! I actually find the use of college pamphlets very fitting as college is what a lot of my growth will be centered around in 2014.  It is also incredibly easy to find inspirational images in a college look-book!  I really like the combination of reading and adventuring in my collage.  I think they're both valid ways of expanding your worldly knowledge which is my main goal this year.

While searching through the mass of leaflets, I found these great quotes in a letter from MIT.  Unfortunately, the did not fit on my collage but I just pinned them up underneath it.  These quotes are great inspiration to begin your dreams.  My favorite has to be "The most effective way to do it, is to do it." which Amelia Earhart said.

I'm really excited about this series of posts for 2014.  Creativity is a great thing to foster and can easily be lost in the day to day.  If you decide to participate in the Creative Collective make sure to visit the master list of days and prompts on Melyssa's blog (link) and comment below with a link to your post!

2013 Recap

2013 was a long year....

In January I painted my room making it a place I enjoy living in and I spent hours in a room for my Biology group 4 project.  It made us closer but we went a little insane and started checking the ducts for dead bodies. To be fair there was blood everywhere.
Posts: Car Adventures, Upgrading Is Compulsory

In February, I took a 6 hour round-trip road trip with my friends to explore Bridgeville.  I also visited went to the local zoo.  And, of course, a lot of school work.

In March I spent a lot of time exploring Humboldt County.  I went on hikes with my dogs, visited various beaches, went to a cemetery, and went to school tennis games.  I even found my favorite place in Humboldt! (the 4th picture).  All this exploration made me feel more comfortable in my hometown.  I also dyed my hair and of course, visited Redding for Easter.

Posts: Ferndale Cemetary

My adventuring continued in April as my friends began to say "A Pirate Who Falls Behind Is Left Behind".  We had an Easter Egg Hunt for ourselves, went on a lone camping trip, and, of course, went to the beach some more.

May, the month of IB tests but also the month of freedom.  Our tests were the only homework we had so this month was full of ditching and relaxing in the sun in preparation, or avoidance, of our tests.  This month was full of mini-adventures and sunshine.  There was also Cotillion and the Junior IB Theatre play (Candide). I hope May 2014 is as much fun. 

Posts: Like A Child, Kinetic Sculpture Race

In June, I became a senior.  I bonded with my friends with more adventures to the river and a Zoo.  I also traveled to Michigan to meet extended family members and visit colleges.  I also read The Brothers Karamazov for school but that was the only downside in an amazing month.

Posts: Ocean World, UC Santa Barbara, Marshall Michigan, Michigan State University, University of Michigan, Local Sand Sculptures

July was a very chill month.  I finished painting the other half of my room, went camping with my Dad (where we tried to burn everything.  FYI graham cracker's have amazing longevity), and, most importantly, flew to Boston to hang out with friends for a week.

Posts: Richardson Grove, BostonCon

August was a perfect month of relaxation before school started.  August began in LA with VidCon and college tours.  I visited UCLA and UCSD.  At VidCon I saw We The Kings and many others perform live with my good friends Emily and Olivia.  After VidCon, I went to Disneyland with my cousins, an experience I want to repeat.  Once back home, I went to the Humboldt County Fair mostly just to watch the horse races! I can't wait to bet on them this year.

Posts: VidCon 

September, the dreaded return of school.  Besides the constant thought of college, it actually wasn't too bad.  The annual trip to Ashland was fantastic and the sun stuck around.

Along with the colder months came more homework and college essays.  Thankfully, there was fun interspersed.  My school took a trip to the pumpkin patch and the opera house, also my friends and I occupied ourselves with kittens and hidden views.

I turned in 5 college applications this month.  Figures crossed that next May I get 5 acceptances!! I also went to Fern Canyon to help my friend's photo shoot for IB art, traveled to San Francisco again for Day of the Dead, traveled to Redding again for Thanksgiving, and participated in my high school's Halloween House.

Finally we have December.  It's been really good. I've been able to connect with my family more with the holidays and my birthday.   I also got an iPhone which has upped my selfie-taking considerably.  The horribly freezing weather has stopped a lot of adventuring but we've had a lot of fun indoors.

Posts: Christmas Tag

All in all, 2013 was wonderful.  While it was, in the big picture, only an interim year with no major life stepping stones, 2013 was full of good memories.  This past year I feel that I have begun to feel more comfortable in my own skin and this has allowed me to for closer bonds with my friends and family.  It's easy to forget what happens in your own life.  Looking back at my 2013 today has made me realize that the little adventures do count.  Getting out of my house and having fun with my friends is what made this year great.  I can't wait to continue that in 2014 with the added adventure of college! I will keep you informed, probably.  HAPPY NEW YEAR!

The Happiness Project by Gretchen Rubin

I don't know what pictures to use so SELFIE.

Instead of a normal book review for The Happiness Project, I'm going to share with you what I found to be most interesting and what I would like to adopt in my life.  If you don't know, Gretchen Rubin set out to spend a year of her life focusing on how to boost her happiness in daily life.  She wanted to appreciate her life while she lived it.  In her own words: "I wanted to change my life without changing my life".  To accomplish this, Gretchen decided upon 12 areas of her life she wished to improve in and assigned one per month, created area based goals she wished to work on each month.  The entire novel is full of interesting food for thought.  I'm going to share 6 ideas I found most interesting and want to incorporate into my own life, one per month (January-June; don't want to give everything away!).  The Happiness Project isn't a how-to guide for happiness but rather a memoir by a friend.  She is honest about her failures and misgivings throughout the novel changing it from a definite guide to a personal exploration inspiring the reader to discover how to change their own life.  I'm not even scratching the surface of this novel.  If you find the following insights interesting, I encourage you to check out the rest of the book!

January - Buyer's Remorse Clutter
This is one of my greatest nemesis.  Too many times I've bought clothes which I have never worn.  For example, I own a mustard yellow pea coat. I thought it was awesome when I bought it, however I have only worn it 10 times in the 4 years I've owned it. Yet, I cannot throw it away because it was expensive and I haven't used it enough. Gretchen hits the problem right on the nose: "rather than admit that I'd made a bad purchase, I hung onto things until somehow I felt they'd been 'used up' by sitting in a closet or on a shelf".  I need to throw these things away.

February - Dealing With Anger
Some believe it is better to vent all anger. I am not one of these people.  I view anger as an incredibly unhelpful emotion which only breeds more anger. I find that when I express anger I inwardly hope that the person or object I'm frustrated with will change, which is usually impossible.  However, if I accept that something is difficult, I begin to look for ways to cool my anger myself instead of forcing change on something else.  I was vindicated in this belief when Gretchen talked about how expressing anger only amplifies it.

March - Expanding Your Self-Definition
Many people advocate for trying new activities and learning new things but Gretchen added another factor besides the joy of learning, expanding self-definition.  She claims that buy having more talents and activities, one feels less threatened and unhappy when one of them is attacked as you are comforted by that fact that you have other things to work on.

My friend Mo's artwork

April - Acknowledge People's Feelings
During this month, Gretchen focused on parenthood and I thought it was very interesting how the acknowledgement of other people's feelings helps you toward the outcome you want more than arguing would.  Plus no one feels mean or hurt in this scenario! I would love to be conscious enough of what I say to do this.

May - Enjoyment Lasts
While focusing on leisure, Gretchen asks her friend for help discovering what she liked to do and her friend answered "What you enjoyed as a ten-year-old is probably something you'd enjoy now". The simplicity and truth of this statement has made it stick in my head.

June - Spontaneous Trait Transference
Gossip never feels morally correct anyway but the spontaneous trait transference makes me want to never say another negative thing. Basically psychologists have shown that when you call someone arrogant, mean, or other adjectives, the person listening to you automatically associates the speaker with that quality.  So quite literally talking bad about someone only makes you look bad.

I hope you enjoyed this little segments from The Happiness Project.  I really do love this book and can see myself rereading it multiple times in the future so do yourself a favor and pick one up next time you go to the bookstore or your library!

(Oh and Happy Holidays everyone.  I hope you all had a great Christmas/Holiday season and will have a great New Years!)

18 Goals for 18 Years

My adorable 18 year old selfie

Last year, on A Beautiful Mess,  I stumbled across the idea of yearly assigning goals in accordance with age. I quickly formulated 17 goals and now, a year later, I'm back with my new 18 resolutions. I'm really excited and scared for the new challenges I'm going to face and happy to set such reachable yet engaging goals!

1. Develop Better Relations With My Parents

I am moving away Fall 2014 for college and I'm worried that I without seeing my parents everyday, I will not stay in contact with them.  To remedy this, I want to create a better relationship with my parents so they will become people I want to talk to rather than people I have to talk to.

2. Be More Enthusiastic and Supportive Towards My Friends

I have a bad habit of not caring about what my friends are doing. Oh, you're in a play? Good luck with that.... NOT ANYMORE! I will be supportive and encouraging toward my friends.

3. Learn to Cook? Develop a Specialty

With college just around the corner, I don't want to be stuck only being able to make packaged pasta and premade pizza.

4. Utilize a dictionary

Recently my English teacher mentioned that he had a personal dictionary in which he would mark every time he looked up a word. I was intrigued by this mini time-capsule and I want to start my own.  Plus a better vocabulary is never bad.

5. Read more non-fiction and classic literature

I find more fulfillment from these types of books than my usual YA novels or best-sellers so why not read more of them?

6. Throw Shit Away

I want to be able to take everything I want to college and as I'll be flying to school, that will be difficult. I'm hoping that by thinning out my items even more, I can take all I want to college next fall.

7. Do more volunteer work

Right now I volunteer at the public library once a week but I'd love to do more to help my community.

8. Cut down on internet and television

I don't feel good after scrolling though tumblr or watching TV for hours.  I always feel that I lost the opportunity to learn or do something that will lower my stress levels. Ultimately, I want to cut down to maybe 3 TV shows and almost no wasted time on social network.

9. Utilize the Opportunities Presented To Me In College

I will not allow myself to sit in my dorm studying. Grades are important and will always come first but I also want to be involved in volunteer organizations, clubs, and other things presented at my college.  Get off your butt and go to everything!

10. Actively Blog

Looking back through my blog this winter, I discovered that I am really proud of what I've done here.  I'd like to continue and get better at updating so there are no longer weeks of major activity and then weeks of nothing.

11. See More Live Music

Though I have been to many cons with musical performances, I have been to very few concerts.  I'm hoping to rectify this and already have some events lined up!

12. Moisturize

Though the word just reminds me of Cassandra from Doctor Who, I think my skin would benefit from being moisturized.

13. Learn How to Shoot in Manual

I really want to learn how a camera actually works.  Plus I'm excited to get pictures that look the way I want them to look rather than how my camera wants them to look!

14. Stay in Touch

When I moved and left middle school, I lost many of my good friends.  With graduation in 6 months, I don't want the same thing to happen to my high school friends. I want to make a conscious effort to stay in touch.

15. Eat Well and Exercise

I feel so much better when I take the time to eat something besides pasta and head over to the gym.  I need to work it into my normal routine.

16. Buy Less Shit

I hate feeling that I'm a cost to my parents.  I want to find away to cut back on the little things I buy almost weekly.  For example, sandwiches from the local grocery store for lunch.

17.Thrive to be Tidy and Organized

Wow, so many of these are about college.  Anyway, I want to be more on top of my chores and mess.  A nice desk, vacuumed carpet, and clean bedding please!

18. Have A Good Year

With the IB tests and freshman year of college this next year, I'm stressed out just thinking about it.  Therefore, I want my last goal to simply be to have a good time.

The cake my parents got me to celebrate.  Apparently I'm still 8 to them!

Lazy Sunday

After almost 4 weeks of nonstop social weekends, it's really nice to sit at home with a cup of iced chai and try to knock out some homework. With college essays, my TOK essay, and my EE all breathing down my neck, I need all the time I can get.  Unfortunately, having all this time makes me spend time procrastinating in the strangest ways.  Most people scroll through tumblr or watch a show on netflix.  Not me.  I clean my room, wash my bedding and read a novel about wall street corruption.  I call it healthy procrastination.  I have also convinced myself that sitting down to do homework is unhealthy so I've taken to passing my room while reading my English books and standing and typing papers. My legs hurt a little after two day so it must be working.  It's really nice to get away from people and spend some quality time with my family.  However, I'm sure that by the end of this weekend, my parents will be annoying me and I'll crave my friends again.

6 Things You Should Know About Me

It may be slightly narcissistic but I like to answer questions about myself. It makes me think about who I am, how I became the way I am, and can alert me to things I want to change in myself.  I've seen this post floating through various blogs for about a week now and I figured that I would join in. I have spliced together 6 questions from 2 different bloggers (one, two) to answer in this post.

1. You're road tripping across America, what 3 cities, landmarks, or touristy sites do you have to see?

I thought this would be a difficult question but my three answers came quickly: Alcatraz, Trinity Bomb Site, and the National Mall in DC. Alcatraz has always been that place there is never enough time to explore when we are in San Francisco.  I can't wait to finally set foot on that island.  The Trinity Bomb Site is where the first atomic bomb was detonated and, even though it is now just a memorial obelisk, I would love to stand there.  Finally, I would love to revisit the National Mall in DC.  When I visited before I barely had time to stroll through the Air and Space Museum.  I'd love to go back and see everything the Smithsonian has to offer.

2. If money were no object what are 2 things you would buy yourself right now?

If money was not an issue, I would get myself a phone contract for an iPhone and a new car.  The iPhone is something I've wanted for a while and struggling through with knock-off blackberries is something I can't wait to put in my past.  My second choice would be a new car because there is a car in my family that is about to fall apart and it would be very nice to replace it and no longer worry about dying on the way to school.

3. How did your blog come about?

Back in 2011 I came across various book review blogs and, seeing all the books they received for review, I thought I would give blogging a shot myself. At that point, I was reading tons of young adult literature and constantly on the hunt for new books. Since then, I've left and come back on multiple occasions and right now I like the idea of using this blog to keep track of my life for myself, similar to an online diary.

4. One goal you would like to achieve before 2014?

I have many goals for these coming months but since most of them are necessary, for instance college applications, I would have to say that my one true goal is to get through these next 4 months and still be as happy and as excited about the future as I am today.  My goal is to get through the tough times ahead by making new memories with friends, when we have the time, and, above all, staying positive.

5. What hobby would you love to pick up?

Lately, this question has been on my mind quite a bit and I've slowly been changing what I want to do into what I do.  However, the list seems never-ending.  There is one hobby that, though I would love to get back into, there never seems to be time for; reading.  I rarely read outside of school anymore and I hate it.  I would love to start reading for pleasure again.

6. If you could tell the blog world one thing, what would it be?

I would like to tell the world that, in my experience, nothing is as as hard as it seems.  Yes, there may be a huge, overwhelming project lying in your to-do pile but if you make yourself chip away at it everyday, it quickly becomes as manageable as taking a shower everyday. 

If any of you reading this would like to answer some questions yourself, I officially tag you. Here are 10 questions from you to chose from! Leave a comment if you decide to write a blog post of your own!

1.  How did your blog come about?

2. What is your favorite movie and why do you love it so much? 

3. If you could know research in depth and gain deep knowledge about one subject which would you choose?

4. What were your favorite and least favorite novels you had to read for school?

5. When was the last time you truly felt a sense of belonging?

6. Favorite writing utensil?

7. Is this how you imagined your life would be?

8. What is your go-to outfit?

9. If you could have any magical item from any universe existent in a book or a movie, which would you choose?

10. What would be your dream job?

National Student Leadership Conference

Last summer a went to a student conference for Intelligence and National Security in Washington DC through the National Student Leadership Conference.  This is a program for teens entering junior or senior year the following fall.  I went the summer before my junior year and while most of the students were a year older then me it was one of the best experiences I've had.  

The National Student Leadership Conference (NSLC) has been around for over 20 years and offers students experience on a college campus, leadership skills, information on a chosen topic, and time to explore the area around you.  I experienced all that plus fun and friendship which made it all the better.

College Experience

Every NSLC event occurs on a college campus.  I stayed at American University in Washington DC.  Our food was provided by the college so we got real experience with dorm food, it wasn't too bad.  We were also given a schedule and allowed to wonder around the campus as we pleased, as long as we were at the right activities at the right time.  This allowed me to explore the campus and play a game of soccer with some of the boys during my visit.  This time at AU has helped me decide what I want in a college campus, like large dorm rooms!

Leadership Skills

Every night, after dinner we would all gather in a lecture hall to learn about leadership.  What it means to be a leader, different personality types, and how to work together.  These lectures really turned us from about 100 individual teenagers into one cohesive unit that could work together.  If there is one thing this conference taught me it was how to work together on a common goal.  That has to be a helpful quality!

Information

I went to the NSLC event for intelligence and national security where the main focus was on the US Government's National Security Council.  We even had a mock council. They separated all of the students into different teams and assigned them different roles (I was the Director of Intelligence) with one college student as the president.  We were then informed of a Security Crisis and chose how to fix it.  I have to gloat that my group kicked some serious butt! Our president never walked out on us in anger, no fictional citizens died, and we did not go to war with Iraq.  Couldn't have been better. I don't know what happens at other conferences but I had a great time learning about national security.

Site-Seeing

Another amazing attribute of this program is the to see the sights.  During my stay in DC, the program took us to all the monuments, the Smithsonian, Arlington, The National Mall, International Spy Museum, the CIA, the Pentagon, and to a ropes climbing course. So many amazing opportunities.  I loved each of these trips away from the university campus.  We saw all the national monuments in the dark which I thought made them more powerful.  We were allowed to wonder around most of these stops on our own which allowed for even more friendship building. The most amazing trip was to the CIA.  I still can't believe that I've been there.

Sorry for the long post guys but I really wanted to illustrate all the great things that happened to me through this program.  If you're high school aged and receive a letter in the mail from NSCL, I highly suggest taking this opportunity if you can!